Differences....

Wow, it’s been a while! This time I promise to do better, I will blog at least once a week…errr if I remember. Which I should, because it’s therapeutic, just like the gym….except I’m bad about going there too. Maybe I will do better about doing both.  I get on these kicks where I’ll gym it up almost every day, and then comes the kick where I want to be in my jammies 24 hours a day and bake cupcakes.  Is there something wrong with me?! Probably, but I’ll pretend like I’m normal.  

A lot has happened since I last blogged. A lot has happened in the past week.  Basically, a lot has been going on!  I won’t bore you and make this entry be my “dear diary” moment, but I will fill you in on some of the revelations I have had.  Well, they’re mostly just thoughts not really revelations. 

Two weeks ago I attended a daylong seminar with my colleagues that talked about the differences in generations.  We were divided into our specific generations, then mixed, then divided, then mixed.  Overall it was a good day.  My excessively talkative personality revealed itself and my control freak “make it happen” side did too during group exercises.  I’m trying to find balance because I really don’t want to be “that girl” but I hate when people ask for volunteers followed by awkward silence because no one else wants to speak up. (ok, rant officially over)  Anyway, there was a lady in my group who I knew but didn’t really know.  She kind of opened my eyes when she spoke about generations working together.  She said, “I don’t understand why we’re discussing the differences between generations, I see so many similarities.”  And she was right, in the end; all we really need is respect, understanding, love, and support.

One week ago, that very same colleague of mine had her life taken in a terrible car accident.  The driver of the car that hit her was too distracted with what was happening in the back seat to bother watching the road.  He walked away with a few scratches.  Doesn’t seem fair does it?  When I heard the news it was from a good friend of mine, he was taking it pretty hard, his exact words were “I wish I had been more understanding” when he reflected on his relationship with her.  Wow.  It takes a big person to say that.  So many times when we reflect upon the lives of others and our relationships with them we want to focus only on the positive memories.  We don’t want to think about the times we may have been rude or cruel.  The times when we rolled our eyes or pretended to listen.  In the end, we want to see our relationships with people in the very best light.

But we shouldn’t, because no one has a perfect relationship. We’re not perfect but we can always be better.  We should find differences to be vehicles of understanding not hatred.  Just because you don’t agree, doesn’t make it right to hate.  If you want someone to see something your way, be the best example of your beliefs.  Building a wall so they cannot come in does not inspire change. Compassion, respect, understanding, and love….that’s what inspires change.

And that is how I will honor my fallen colleague; I will wake up every morning remembering her words. And I will try every day to focus on the similarities and find value in differences.  Life is short; her death proved that to me, but it only takes one sentence, one action to make a difference.  And that is exactly what happened that day that by chance I was blessed to work with her.

In loving memory of Lisa Stone.