How many people are currently in relationships and yet they are still looking for what's next. I suppose we all may do it. But isn't that a sign that you should not be in a relationship in the first place? I used to date this guy that could not be single. He was constantly relationship hopping. What is the point? Aren't relationships supposed to represent when you find your match in someone else? Aren't they supposed to make you complete?
I am beginning to think that many relationships are merely out of convenience. It's easier to be with someone, because it means you're not alone. And we wonder why over 50% of marriages fail? Why settle because you're comfortable with someone? Why not wait for the person that has turned your world inside out and you don't even want to picture life without them? Have we really become that lazy? Sure, I wouldn't be single right now if I wanted someone that I get along with. But I want someone that I can't picture making it a single day without them.
I have a lot of friends that are in relationships. What's really funny is that they come to me for advice even though I've been single for three years now. And I love to help them in any way possible. So here is the best advice I can come up with; if someone loves you, they'll marry you; there is no such thing as bad timing, that's just a nice way of saying they're not interested; if you've broken up more than twice, do yourself a favor and stop trying; men lie it's just they way they were made, but guess what, women lie too; relationships will never be like a movie so stop comparing them; and a lesson I have to constanly learn the hard way, if he doesn't call it's not because he was busy, it's because he's not interested.
So rip the bandaid off pour yourself a glass of wine and take in the single life. Don't worry, I hear it doesn't last forever. The more I think about it, if we would all take the time to ourselves to realize who we really are we will be 100% prepared for when our other half walks into our lives. And if we're ready for it, we'll never have to deal with them walking out.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Have you ever noticed that when people ask you how you are doing, they are always expecting to hear “fine thanks” in return? And heaven forbid you say that you’re not doing very well because that would mean they might have to take an extra two seconds from their day to make sure you’re alright. I know this, and I can say this, because I’ve been that person. I asked out of courtesy, not because I actually cared. What really bothered me, was that I didn’t even realize that I didn’t care until someone told me they were having a terrible day. It was at that moment that I realized, I didn’t know anything about them so there was nothing I could say besides “oh I’m sorry”. How lame.
So that got me to thinking, what would happen if every time we asked someone how their day was, we actually cared about the answer. How many times have people asked me how my day was without truly caring? It’s crazy how self absorbed we all have become without even realizing it. We think we’re nice people because we smile and say hello to everyone. But really, what does that equate to when there is no sincerity behind it?
So what’s the answer? How do we change this? Every day we are challenged to live better truer lives than the day before, but are we really doing that? Or are we just going through the motions. If perception is reality then I would argue that we are all simply getting through each day and lying to ourselves when we say we did everything we could to make it a great day. I mean after all, it would be absolutely exhausting, and after all we already have soooo many other things going on. Again, lame.
So today, I challenge you and I’m challenging myself to do all that we can to care about others. It sounds simple enough. What will prove to be difficult is not getting preoccupied in petty things, or emails, or text messages, and become too busy to care about every answer you receive when you ask the simple question, how are you doing today?